Vintage Jesus

I am four chapters in to this book (yeah I should be farther along than that) and I must say it is great. Driscoll is incredibly gifted at teaching and declaring doctrinal truth using clear plain language that anyone can understand-even me. One of the things that makes him so popular is also one of the things that brings him so much criticism. It is his humor. Some people fall over laughing and some people absolutely despise it. Below is an example of vintage Driscoll declaring doctrinal truth laced with his unmistakable humor. Enjoy!


"Roughly two thousand years ago, Jesus was born in a dumpy, rural, hick town, not unlike those today where guys change their own oil, think pro wrestling is real, find women who chew tobacco sexy, and eat a lot of Hot Pockets with their uncle-daddy. Jesus’ mom was a poor, unwed teenage girl who was mocked for claiming she conceived via the Holy Spirit. Most people thought she concocted a crazy story to cover the “fact” she was knocking boots with some guy in the backseat of a car at the prom. Jesus was adopted by a simple carpenter named Joseph and spent the first thirty years of his life in obscurity, swinging a hammer with his dad."

Mac Users/Calvinists

First let me add a little caveat to the title of this post lest one of the Mac users I offend hunts me down and shoves their Macbook Air up somewhere it doesn't belong. Yeah its small but not that small. If I could have or knew how to use an approximate sign in the title I would have. I'm not saying that every single person can be grouped in these two categories or that these groups are characteristic of all people that could be classified in them. I'm writing in general terms. I think it is true in a general sense at least from my experience, and I thought it was somewhat humorous so I decided to share.

If you have ever talked to any number of Mac users you will ultimately find out very quickly they're a Mac user. This title is boldly worn as a badge of honor.

The same can be said of some Calvinists. If you have ever had a conversation with one of these guys then you will no doubt learn fairly quickly they are 5 pointers, also a badge of honor.

Mac users/Calvinists give the infamous "look down" after they realize you're not one of them. You know the way someone looks at you like you're 2 foot tall. They look at your feet then look up quickly most of the time with their eyebrows narrowed and eyes crossed. Sometimes you will even be lucky enough to induce a teeth suck. I love that one. It makes me feel like I've hit a chord with my brothers and sisters.

Undoubtedly the conversation moves from condescension to conversion mode. The Mac user/Calvinist tries to convert the pagans to the straight and narrow or the thin and portable.

Mac users/Calvinists unleash a vigorous barrage of indisputable artillery to defeat the enemy and win the day for their respective ideas. Then after the smoke and dust have settled, excel spreadsheets torched to a crisp are trampled under feet, and hymns like "I Have Decided To Follow Jesus" are changed to "I Never Wanted to Follow Jesus" we should all embrace in a loving hug and laugh at each other.

You are a good person!

The exclamation above was the climatic horse manure I heard in a worship service this past weekend. After the singing there was the offering time which was introduced by the following phrase "your seed determines the harvest." I don't have enough time to get into that one. But if I hadn't been with family I would have left at the very moment. Not surprisingly it got worse. There was a guest speaker. You know the ones...they travel around the country with a pocketful of sermonettes, plenty of stale but occasionally funny jokes, and enough amen'ing to conjure up images of tent revivals gone wild.

So without getting into a major spill turned novel just let me give a quick overview of the "sermon." He talked about three verses of scriptures for a total length of maybe 15 mintues if we give him the benefit of the doubt. I highly doubt he exposited each verse for an average of 5 minutes, but like I said we'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

Did he ever get to the main points of these passages? Did he explain the passages? Did he "preach" on them in the context of surrounding passages or even the Bible at large? As Spurgeon would say, did he make a bee line straight to the cross and grace of Jesus? The answer to all of these questions would be a big honkin' NO SIR! The question I asked my mom on the way home as we discussed the service was "Would you consider what you just heard a message preached from God's word or a talk given from that guy's heart?" The answer was obvious. But this was not the worst part...

At the end of this guy's "sermon" he began to prophesy over a few of the people who came forward. If you have never seen something like that here is an example. Well maybe it wasn't quite like that. Here is a better example. Just imagine a bunch of country white people instead of a black congregation. If you watched the second clip you heard the speaker promising blessings to everyone in that building. Why do people do this? Why do men who claim to preach the Word of God speak where the Word does not? At least he did not say that those people were good people.

This is what was the last straw for me this weekend. After all the promising of blessings whether financial or emotional, freedom from addiction, promises of leadership in the church, he told more than a handful of people "you're a good person you really are." "You're not a bad person don't let the enemy lie to you. The devil is a liar." And seemingly I was the only one in the whole building who had a problem with this. How can a preacher tell people the exact opposite of what Scripture teaches? How can it be so acceptable to coddle so much to people's emotions and self-esteem that we don't tell them the truth.

Do we love people or not? If so let's tell the truth. We are not good people. None of us are. Christians are not good people. None of them are. That is why we need a savior. That is why we continually need the Saviour. Because just as the Apostle says there is nothing good in us that is in ourselves. These kinds of statements burn me up to no end. I've tried to be patient and understanding but I cannot. And quite frankly if the Lord doesn't move me I will not. Ever.

This is the end of the rant.

Copy and Paste from Word

I finally sat down and read another chapter of the book Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands by Paul David Tripp. I know I know it seems like I will never get through this one. Anyway, one of the points Tripp makes goes along with one of my previous posts or at least the end of that post where I rant about "this is my world and everyone else is just living in it" attitude.

In the second chapter of this book he makes the argument that most Christians really do not understand what the Bible is and what we're supposed to do with it especially in regards to ministering to others. He basically boils it down to say that we most often will use a command, principle, or promise to fit the moment. This approach he describes as copy and paste from Word. He goes on to say...

"This kind of ministry rarely leads to lasting change because it does not bring the power of the Word to the places where change is really needed. In this kind of ministry, self is still at the center, personal need is the focus, and personal happiness remains the goal. But a truly effective ministry of the Word must confront our self-focus and self-absorption at its roots, opening us up to the vastness of a God-defined, God-centered world. Unless this happens, we will use the promises, principles, and commands of the Word to serve the thing we really love: ourselves. This may be why many people read and hear God's Word regularly while their lives remain unchanged. Only when the rain of the Word penetrates the roots of the problem does lasting change occur."

He follows this quote up by explaining that we need the over arching themes of the Bible to properly understand and apply those principles and promises. You know, the ones that we love to hand out as if they were some type of spiritual fortune cookies. Tripp then ends the chapter with a story to describe the last theme of glory. It is a cute little story about a boy at a birthday party who is mad because he doesn't have all the gifts around him and he doesn't have all the attention. It is not even his birthday party. And before he ruins the party for everyone else he is quickly reminded. The point is that this life we call our own is really not our own. It is not our party. And it is not our world. It is His and we're just living in it.

Confession

I guess I should confess about how critical I am. I have blogged recently about things that have griped me, and quite honestly I'm sure I will again-probably tomorrow. But while I won't confess that pointing out errors is necessarily wrong I will confess that the heart and tone of recent posts have been less than loving. I am a critical know-it-all arrogant jerk and for that I confess.

I wish that my posts could be more engaging. And I wish that I could articulate the greatness and the glory and the love of Christ with each blog post. But I haven't. And I can't. At least not now. (Honestly, this second wish should be in front of the first one but I guess this is just a great reminder of how much I'm in need of a Savior because I'd wish to be a good writer or have people like what I write rather than to glorify the Lord) I know one sweet day will come when all of His people will be able to worship and magnify His name as perfectly as possible for that is why we were made. And I won't have to confess anymore about my bad attitude or any of my crap. I will be able to finally articulate and live out the love of Christ in all that I say and do.

Real and/or Relevant

Let me just say I am pretty frustrated about these words. I have heard them from friends. I have seen them plastered on a graphic behind a ceo, err I mean pastor, of a large church. I have read about them in books. And don't let me forget about another word that also gets thrown around with the two mentioned above in the title: Authentic.

Would someone please clue me in on to why they are used so often? I think I can understand some of the reasons why they are used. We want to make people feel comfortable I guess. We want to "relate"-that's another one of these words. We want to build relationships. We want to appear to be truthful. We want others to think that we really do have something important to say and maybe they will listen if we say the right things and wear the right clothes and act just like them.

Let me clarify before someone misunderstands what I am griping about. I think we should definitely be real and relevant. And I don't think anyone would argue that trying to relate to someone isn't a great way to build relationships. Authenticity is really just a two dollar word that communicates the idea that we don't want to be a hypocrite. And I think that is great too.

I guess my real gripe is that these words have become the buzz words of American Christianity at least in a broad sense. And the reason I think it is a bad thing is because it places too much emphasis on individual perception and feelings rather than transcendent truth and reality. I think emphasizing all these things/words/feelings reinforce selfish thoughts and deeds. The idea that "this is my world and the rest of you all are just living in it" is indeed one of the most common bases of thought that most of us experience day in and day out. We have become so concerned with experience that we lose sight of the bigger picture, of the lives that surround us, and the great big huge God we call Father.

If you don't think this is a problem for you Justin Taylor had a blog post that asks some questions that might shed some light on whether or not you are more concerned with how something relates to you and your world. They are listed below.

• Do you get bored when someone reads a longish passage of Scripture in your church? Do you start wishing they’d get on with the music?
• Do you need music playing in the background for the reading of Scripture to affect your emotions?
• Does a prayer seem too “plain” or “stark” to you if it doesn’t have music playing behind it?
• Do you feel depressed a few weeks after a worship conference because you haven’t felt close to God in a long time?
• Do you desperately look forward to the next conference you’re going to attend because you know that, finally, you’ll be able to feel close to God again?
• If you’re in a big church with great music, are you able to worship when you visit your parents’ small rural church?
• Do you ever feel worshipful in the middle of the week, at work, at school, etc. just because of thinking about God and his grace? Or does that only happen when the music’s playing?
• Do you tend to feel closer to God when you’re alone with your iPOD than you do when you’re gathered with God’s people in your church?
• Do you feel like you just can’t connect with other believers who haven’t had the same “worship experiences” that you have? Can you only connect with other believers who “know what it feels like to really worship?”
• Is your sense of spiritual well-being based more on feeling close to God, or knowing that you are close to God because of Jesus Christ?

Too Good to be True

Here is a story about my boy Mike Huckabee. Basically the gist of the story is Huck holds his hand out to Kenneth Copeland. There is probably, no there is definitely, more disgust in my heart towards him and his "ministry" than I have for diarrhea. There are more reasons than I have time to type or you have time to read about how he has lead untold numbers of followers down a path of destruction. And for Huck to hold his hand out to him makes me want to rage against his campaign. But I won't. Huck is not perfect. Nor is anyone else for that matter. Even if Huck does get a few dollars from Copeland and his minions I think he is still the best choice. But they way it is looking I wouldn't mind voting for a McCain/Huckabee combo.